Chronicles of a Christian Traveller

The mahjongeras have not been together for so long. And since changes are beginning in my life; I have decided to rename our adventures. So far, I can’t think of anything, so I’ll put *blank* for the meantime.

It was the Undas weekend, and I was allowed to be off on Friday, November 2. I planned on going to the cemetery, but everytime I went home (both on Nov 1 and 2) and tried to sleep, my teeth will ache. Yeah, time to visit the dentist again. But I have to look for a new one, since we changed our HMO, yet again.

Anyway, since Ryan was unable to go on his impromptu La Union trip due to no vacancies, we decided to meet up. We went to MOA, because I haven’t gone there for a long time. I also wanted to check out Uniqlo for their shorts. After buying bread from Bread Talk, we got tickets for the movie Skyfall and went back to Uniqlo, which was just across Bread Talk.

It was like a dreamland for me. Unlike some local brands that would normally don’t have anything for me; the sizes at Uniqlo were just right! I wanted to buy a combo of a shirt and shorts, but I didn’t have enough money, so I settled for dark blue twill shorts at 590 pesos. I plan to go back. Well, the place was cool too. Sales people would greet you all the time and the clothes were separated into type. Too bad they didn’t have shoes. We also checked out Forever 21 and Cotton On, and I found shoes that I’m coming back for.

We then checked out Galaxy Tabs. I had planned on letting go of my iPhone 4. This was the perfect time. Memories in that phone are not so pleasing. Anyway, after getting an idea of how the tab would cost, we ate at Wendy’s. Wendy’s, for a long time, seems struggling with finding a market. I’ve seen a lot of branches close down in Manila. The price skyrocketed too. The chicken fillet was only 70 pesos when I was in high school. Well, now, it’s around 200? So when I saw that they had budget meals, I was kinda glad. I got a side salad (at 49 pesos, see?) and their lumpiang shanghai which was good. Thank you Wendy’s for giving me reusable red bags. I only said my food was for takeout because I wanted those bags.

So we then proceeded to the movie. Skyfall, a Bond movie, was good. For a macho movie franchise, I liked Skyfall. First, Adele sang the theme song. Next, there were not much action scenes that would have made me sleep. Plus, it had a story. The relationship between M and Bond was the highlight of the story. I wouldn’t spill how it ended. Just go and watch.

The next day, Ryan and I were supposed to meet BJ, but he had some work to do. So after finally getting my Galaxy tablet, we went to Galleria. Galleria is like a labyrinth to me. I never quite got to understand how the interior was set up. I used to go to Galleria with my friend Sheils after class. But yeah, I still don’t get Galleria.

Ryan wanted to have a mani pedi, so we went to Let’s Face It. Hmm… I didn’t think a simple mani pedi would cost so much. There were some that would cost more than 500 pesos for a combo. No. I refuse to give in. I took the regular mani pedi only. 250 tops. Anyway, I haven’t had my feet and hands done for a looooong time. The last person who did me left me battle scars. But the lady who worked on my hands and feet this time was really careful. And chatty. I guess the other people in the room were glad when we left because we were noisy.

We then ate at Burger King. And I checked out my new tablet while eating. It was weird. But I think I liked it.

The movie that we watched was Pitch Perfect. If you are a kid who grew up in the 90’s, you would relate to this movie. It’s about an all female acapella group in college trying to win a competition. After most of the group members graduated, it was up to two seniors to make sure the group, well, won the next year. It was like bring it On. New captain sticking to tradition. Renegade newbie (Anna Kendrick) with fresh, new ideas. I guess the story did not dwell too much on several back stories that I was able to focus on two things the movie was really about: comedy and music. I have been a fan of Anna Kendrick since Camp, where she was a revelation, so I’m not surprised they got her for this part. HotLaggen was also in the movie (from Harry Potter) providing some muscle in his short scenes. All the other actors were great, but Rebel Wilson stole the show for me. Her one-liners will forever be etched on my mind like Mean Girls dialogues.

On Sunday, Ryan and I went to church service in Regis at 10am. I gave Derrick the polo shirt from mom that didn’t fit me well. The service was about heaven, with Joey leading the service. It was a fun service. Joey had a lot of moments that I wish other people would have witnessed too.

After lunch with Ryan, Kriz and Derrick at Bonchon, we went to Red Mango for the small group. It’s nice to see that there’s a lot more interaction during the small group now. I kinda feel bad though that I can’t spend time with most of them outside the Sunday meetings. I usually meet BJ or Ryan on separate occasions. Anyway, I had a one2one session with BJ after. Just one more session and I should be ready for the Victory Weekend! Yey! I already registered. Can’t wait to start answering the workbook. 

Ryan and I went to Megamall to meet Burn. I needed some dose of my old friends, but with a bit of restraint. I didn’t go around shopping though. My purchase the previous day was enough to last for three months. We ate at Amici. I don’t remember what we ate. All I can remember is that the pizza was good and the two plates of pasta were so so. Happy Lemon was next. Not amazing. Not worth remembering.

So we watched Six Degrees of Seaparation from Lilia Cuntapay. When we got to the theatre, she was outside taking pictures with people, so we asked her to take pictures with us too. Who is Lilia Cuntapay? She’s that movie extra who is always cast as a witch or a ghost. In all fairness to the movie, I loved it. It was mockumentary at its best. Modern Family will probably bow to this one. Lilia was the star of the show. I loved her. I felt for her. Despite knowing the fact that it was fiction, I knew that some of the scenes must have happened to her in real life. Showbiz keeps on relying on faces or crude/insulting humor to break box office records. Lilia Cuntapay is living proof that there are no small actors. For me, Six Degrees… was last year’s Zombadings. And yeah, our VG friend Kriz was mentioned in the fake awards night. Coolness!

After the movie, we dropped by Starbucks in Home Depot for a bit. This year’s planner is good so I might collect stickers. The last two years have been bad for the planners from Starbucks. Really bad.

After completing Living the Surrendered Life, I wanted to focus a bit on the suggested readings from the results of my spiritual gifts training. However, BJ recommended that reading verses whose meanings have not been already explained to me might be a good way to read the Word. Last Saturday, when I was out with Laine, she helped me choose a Bible that I can bring everywhere and we got an NLT version. I only started reading on Monday, and so far I have read 3 sets of chapters from: Genesis (Old), Matthew (New), Proverbs and Acts.

Here are some verses that I took note of.

Proverbs 2:20
Follow the steps of good men instead, and stay on the path of the righteous.

I must admit, I have been enjoying the company of the small group since I joined them. One by one, the names now have faces, and I have had spent some time with them. I think it’s important that I surrounded myself with people who will draw me closer to God. I’m less likely to sin if I have a strong support system, and they have proven to be very helpful in my weakest moments. One person even texted me with a verse when I tweeted about what I was feeling that time, and it was very reassuring.

Acts 2:25
I see that the Lord is always with me. I will not be shaken for He is right beside me.

In the past few days, I have been disconnected. My fault for not managing my time well. And I think this has caused my faith to be less strong than I wanted it to be. But that thinking is wrong. No matter what the setting is, I should always believe that the Lord is always with me. His Spirit is an everyday companion that I can talk to and confess my thoughts to. He never fails. He never does.

Proverbs 3:6
Seek His will in all you do, and He will show you which path to take.

I now see the consistency in the Bible that BJ has told me days ago. It may have been written in different ways, but God will always want us to put our trust in Him so we will know what to do.

Proverbs 3:9-10
Honor the Lord with your wealth and with the best part of everything you produce. Then He will fill your barn with grain, and your vats will overflow with good wine.

I have been contemplating about giving. I guess this is my sign.

Acts 3:16
Through faith in the name of Jesus, this man was healed – and you know how crippled he was before. Faith in Jesus’ name has healed him before your eyes.

I need my heart to be healed. I need to get rid of hatred, of sins, that have slowly turned me into a cynic. Every day, I wish to feel better. And I’m at that point of total surrender.

Father, today I thank You for all the people you surround me with. Thank You for letting them bless me with their company and showing me that there is goodness in people. I pray that you continue to let them share Your love and Your Word, not just to me, but other people who need Your salvation. I pray, Father, that You will always manifest Your greatness and love every time I feel weak and alone. Instill in my mind that I am never alone, as Your Spirit is always beside me wherever I go. Lord, bless my heart with the power of giving. That I may give what is due to You, because You have blessed me with so much more. No amount of financial wealth can take the place of my family, friends and faith. Father, I have sinned, and may sin in the future, but Your love will always heal me of the hurt and guilt. Let Your Spirit always surround my heart and mind when I am making decisions so I can stay away from sin. Thank You for being a great Father, and a loving God.

I wasn’t able to write for a few days. Oh well. I think my mind needed to refresh a bit, hence, I stopped writing. Here are the things I did for the past two weeks:

October 20 – the trio adventurers went to the birthday of a good friend’s 3-year old son. It was a nice party because there were only a few guests, so it was more intimate than I expected. We also had time to participate in the games and talk about a lot of stuff. I kinda missed the trio and our friend so I had a great time. And no, having a kid of my own still hasn’t crossed my mind.

October 21 – it was a full day. I attended service at 10am with Rye. We ate at KFC, attended small group at Red Mango (tried the green tea yoghurt, never trying it again), had my 1 to 1 with BJ, ate at Serenitea (got wintermelon and the uber salty chicken chops) and served at the 6pm service. It was fun to see Rye getting involved in the church activities. I feel blessed by his progress and I hope that he gets to interact with the other peeps. After service, we ate at TOSH (oriental spaghetti) and went home right away.

October 26 – went to Tagaytay with the VG peeps. Finally, I met some of the names I often hear from the others. Too bad Derrick wasn’t able to join. There were 12 of us. Team Kapamilya – Lolay, Kriz, Nomer (first ever evictee), Cookie, Bone and Lloyd. Team Globe Prepaid – Claude, Ian, Fej, Lory and Jinelle. During the ride to Tagaytay I was a bit quiet, but they all made me feel comfortable. And I received immunity from eviction. Yey!

We first went to Green ATS, and had bulalo, fried tawilis and pinaputok na tilapia. It was too bad that it was raining because the bulalo soup went cold really fast. We were supposed to go to Marcia Adams next but we went to Bag of Beans instead.

Bag of Beans is, as the name might imply, a coffee shop, but the place is much more than that. It occupied a big space, where groups can choose which area they want to stay at; there was a mess hall type of room and mini huts for those who want a more intimate feel. We all tried different stuff. I got the chocolate mousse, which was just like the choco fudge that I buy at SM, but a lot creamier and full bodied. Ian/Cookie got a very yummy apple pie a la mode while Lolay got a strawberry cheesecake. I didn’t order coffee because I already had chocolate at CBTL while waiting for them. After taking pictures and lots of fun conversations, we decided to buy pasalubong and looked for a videoke bar (imagine my gladness).

We rented a room at a place I forgot the name of for 300 pesos an hour. It was the first time that I sang without drinking or smoking. Talk about natural high.

After singing our lungs out, we went to Marcia Adams. This is a gem of a place that everyone with a budget of 700 pesos and up should try. It is very near the highway, I am not sure though if there was a sign for everyone to see. Maybe that’s what makes it special. Even the façade did not bear any name of the resto. When we came in, we had to go down on a stone pathway that led to the dining area. There were a few tables that were set up so neatly. The place had a very cozy ambiance, perfect for intimate family dinners or dates. The staff was very accommodating, smiling at the sight of a diner. Guests also need to call in advance for reservations, and maybe to get directions too.

Now, the food. For 700 pesos, we will get an appetizer (shrimp balls for me, I forget what it is called; or soup), the main course (grilled porkchop for me) and dessert (lavender crème brulee). The shrimp, or prawn, was divine. It was fried, with a little bit of breading and sat on top of a biscuit that I thought was made from pancake batter. The porkchop? Awesome. The slice was very thick, rubbed with several spices and grilled to perfection. It didn’t need any sauce or whatever. The crème brulee was good, I guess they only had too much sugar on top that when I cracked it, I still tasted unburnt sugar crystals.

The good: nice place, cozy interior, friendly staff, awesome food, intimacy. The bad: a lizard pooped on my arm. They needed insect repellents. Maybe it was the lizard’s job to eat the insects.
The ride back home was a bit quiet. I think I slept for a few minutes. Christians do have fun. What I like about how we do it is that we never need alcohol or chemicals to be happy. Conversations and company become much more meaningful when sober.

October 27 – Mr. Big’s birthday. Anyway, I went to Greenbelt 3 with Laine. We haven’t seen each other for more than a year. We agreed to watch a movie while on Twitter. When we met, we bought tickets for Looper, and headed to Jollibee right away for some light lunch. It was cool to catch up over fast food. Maybe my expenses the previous day prompted me to be a cheapskate. We got the crispy wings that needed much more flavor and pasta for each of us. Yeah, Jollibee spaghetti. It’s the bomb diggity.

We then watched Looper. Great movie. I think I am becoming a Joseph Gordon Levitt fan, never mind his dorky look in 3rd Rock from the Sun. No spoilers. The movie was about what motivates us to do things and how our decisions can affect not just us but those around us. It made me question my past life and what would have happened if I stayed on that path. I can only be unsure about the future, but it should be looking much brighter now.

After the movie, we stayed at Serenitea and talked more. It was really a time for catching up. It helped that Laine was a Christian too so our conversations were a bit light. And no one has called me “Sam” for a very long time. We talked about the men in our lives. Well, that’s all in the past.

I had a great day. I’m just glad I can keep friends who are there for the long haul.

October 28 – Uncle Ken’s birthday. I attended the 10am service. Wasn’t serving at the 6pm service and there was no small group meeting so I left the center right away. I stayed at Kebabers along Katipunan and they let me charge my phone. The food was okay. For 160 pesos I had monster beef meal and twister fries. Well, there’s an issue on flavor. But it was okay. Mr. Kebab still tastes better. The staff was nice enough to answer my questions too.

shower me with humility
open my eyes so i can see
that all i have are from You

to You, oh Lord, i surrender
my life You saved from the fire
and all i am is for You

from Your Word i will feed
my faith, though small like seed
will grow because of You

my Father, when You return
my desire is to not burn
but live, forever, with You

i don't deserve You
because i hurt You
with the self-inflicted pain
because of sins, i gained

i don't deserve You
Your grace, Your love, too
i pretended to be blind
Your presence i didn't mind

i don't deserve You
or Your Word that rings true
against my lawlessness,
my defiance, my darkness

i don't deserve You
a sovereign Father who
blessed me with grace and mercy
and died to save the many

i don't deserve You
so live with purpose, i'll do
to glorify Your name
and tell others "do the same"

I have finished the Bible reading plan, Living the Surrendered Life. Before I move on to another, I resolved to check out the suggested verses from the results of my Spiritual Gifts test. Since the top three was more consistent, I’ll focus on these: Faith, Writing and Teaching. I will start with writing.

“1 Many have undertaken to draw up an account of the things that have been fulfilled among us, 2 just as they were handed down to us by those who from the first were eyewitnesses and servants of the word. 3 With this in mind, since I myself have carefully investigated everything from the beginning, I too decided to write an orderly account for you, most excellent Theophilus,”

For sure, I wouldn’t be able to write as Luke may have done because I am only relating what I’ve read to my experiences. But I will try my best to be as honest as possible about what I put here.

In the next few weeks, I may be able to write about what I understood about the preaching every time I attend service. That may help in reminding me what I need to instill in my head/heart. I also noticed that I don’t blog on weekends. Gotta make time for that.

So here I go. As the verse says, I may be one of those who have made it one of their missions to spread the Word drawn from experience. I

I pray, Father, that You guide me with every entry that I set out there. Let the Holy Spirit be present in my thoughts so I may be able to speak of the truth and Your truth. May Your grace be with me every time I draw inspiration from Your Word and from every person that I encounter. Let me strive for excellence in this medium so I can glorify You more and share how Your love and guidance has changed me into the man that You wanted me to be.

“24 Then Jesus said to his disciples, “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me. 25 For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will find it. 26 What good will it be for someone to gain the whole world, yet forfeit their soul? Or what can anyone give in exchange for their soul?””

I had a “great” life. I went to nice parties, I hung out with cool people, I knew the juiciest gossip about acquaintances, etc. At one point in my life before my transition, I was almost a hedonist. I loved worldly pleasure and I almost did not want to give that up. I remember one friend asking me, “What will you do about your Maslow’s hierarchy of needs?” I answered, “What is more important, satisfaction here, or eternal salvation?”

I loved that life; I guess that’s why my friend asked me that. But it was a life of complications and never ending search for what was more pleasurable.

When I finally decided to leave that life, things became simpler. Now, parties consist of eating out with friends; hanging out can be spending time in church or at home; and gossip just turned into talking about His Word. There were just so many negative feelings in my past life that I really don’t miss.

All God needed were for me to surrender and forget all the lies and deceit my “happy” life showed me. Instead of thinking about the mundane, I focused more on what my soul needed. My former blog was all about drama. And that’s because I was surrounding myself with situations that required drama. Now, most conversations that I partake in are much lighter.

So I gave up that life. What’s next? What more will God ask me to let go? I am not sure. Can I stay at my job and still find time to serve Him? Will He want me to raise a family of my own? Will He want me to live a simpler life? I don’t know. But I’m praying that He will let me see what His plans for me are. They may be scary, but saying “No” to His call might mean not joining Him when the end comes.

I pray, Father, that I may be able to heed Your Word and be able to completely surrender my life to You. Let me remember that things in this world are ephemeral but Your love and Your promises are forever. Grant me with strength to stay on this new path, with Your guidance and the support of my family and friends.

There's no silver or gold
And no treasure untold
That could draw me away from Your heart
Neither love of myself
Or of anyone else will do

Jesus nothing compares
To this grace that rescues me
Savior now and forever
Your face is all I seek

Now all I am
I lay at Your feet
I'm humbled by the wonder of Your majesty
One thing I know
I find all I need
In Your unending love
In Your unending love
Your love, Jesus

Letting go of my pride
I lay down my desires
Just to worship in Spirit and truth
More than all of my dreams
More than fame I will seek You Lord

Jesus nothing compares
To this grace that rescued me
Savior now and forever
Your face is all I seek

Now all I am
I lay at Your feet
I'm humbled by the wonder of Your majesty
One thing I know
I find all I need
In Your unending love
In Your unending love

Now all I am
I lay at Your feet
I'm humbled by the wonder of Your majesty
One thing I know
I find all I need
In Your unending love
In Your unending love

Jesus nothing compares
To this grace that rescues me
Savior now and forever
Your face is all I seek

(Jesus) Jesus nothing compares
To this grace that rescued me
Savior now and forever
Your face is all I seek

Now all I am
I lay at Your feet
I'm humbled by the wonder of Your majesty
One thing I know
I find all I need
In Your unending love
In Your unending love

Now all I am
I lay at Your feet
I'm humbled by the wonder of Your majesty
One thing I know
I find all I need
In Your unending love
In Your unending love

Now all I am
I lay at Your feet
I'm humbled by the wonder of Your majesty
One thing I know
I find all I need
In Your unending love
In Your unending love

i ran away from a dark past
blessed to break free at last
from living behind the shadows
of sins and lies of the foe

surround me with Your holy light
and lift me up to greater heights
oh Lord, to You, i surrender
my life, my heart, my forever

oh Jesus, i am giving it all
i'm fin'lly answ'ring your call
my Father, i am giving You all
with you, nothing's impossible

jaycee pagdanganan
101812

“20 Yet he did not waver through unbelief regarding the promise of God, but was strengthened in his faith and gave glory to God, 21 being fully persuaded that God had power to do what He had promised. 22 This is why “it was credited to him as righteousness.””

I have always evaded the impossible. Whenever I made decisions, I always chose the route that was more feasible. Isn’t that true for everyone? It’s safer to bet on the clear winner, than wait for a dark horse. Agree?

Not with God. I have found that there are two ways that God delivers His promise. A. He will do what is really impossible. B. He will not grant prayers but find a way to make us see other alternatives.

A. There are a lot of prayers that He answers by giving what we so yearned for. There are a lot of stories about how God was able to guide people to successfully reach their dreams.
B. If it is not planned by Him, He shows a different route. There may have been a billion people who are praying for a better life, but God shows them how to appreciate what they have, or be a blessing to others despite the lack of material riches.

All of these are impossible without faith. What God promised, He delivers. And if we don’t believe, then there’s a chance we might not get it.

My constant fear is that my faith will be tested, and I will fail miserably. But I believe that He will not let that happen. I have been tempted so many times for the past few weeks and He has put me in situations that clearly were ways to protect me from sinning.

I pray, Father, that my faith will not waver, despite all the temptations that are surrounding me. Thank You for surrounding me with people who are like-minded and continue to show me through their testimonies how powerful and sovereign You are. Let my faith be as strong as that of the many other servants who believe in Your will and wholeheartedly accept Your grace by living the live that You designed for them. I pray Lord, that in the end, everyone will see, believe and accept Your power that we will understand more when we surrender ourselves to You.