I have two verses that I liked today.
Then no one will notice that you are fasting, except your Father, who knows what you do in private. And your Father, who sees everything, will reward you.
No one can serve two masters, for you will hate one and love the other; you will be devoted to one and despise the other.
For the first one, I learned the hard way. Months ago I kept on telling everyone I was fasting, I didn’t know it was not proper. But anyway, nowadays, when I fast, I don’t tell people I do. I don’t want people to think that I am only doing so to get attention or something. In truth, even if it’s only God who knew my sacrifices, I think it will matter more. There is a difference between faith in truth and faith for show. And it’s not just fasting that God looks at. He sees everything. He knows everything. He is omnipresent and omniscient.
The second one reminds me of Lordship. In the small group, we always talk about struggles and what keeps us from giving 100% of ourselves to Christ. I just realized that if a thing is a struggle, then more than the whispers of the enemy, there is a part of us that still misses that part of our past. And I feel guilty. A struggle is a prolonged fight or conflict. Surrendering ourselves to the Lord should mean the fight has been won, and the conflict has been resolved. In all honesty, and in the truest sense of the word, I still have struggles, but I am working on shutting them off my mind. It’s true that looking back at the things that I enjoyed in the past seems fun, but that should be where those things are, the past. I feel guilty for the times I said “Mamimiss ko ‘to.” when I took my last swig of alcohol or last puff of cigarette. Or last… Well.
One key to living a life with Christ is forgetting the things that hurt Him, and made Him feel like his death on the cross happened in vain. A lot of us say, “I’ll sin today, and on Sunday, God will forgive me when I go to church.” What if the world ended before Sunday? I remembered this line when we attended the “The End” series just this past month. The end is unbeknownst to anyone. Only He knows when. The same way that only Him knows what’s really on our minds. If outwardly, we project a God-loving persona, but inside, we think about sin, and our hearts are tied to it, then our lord is not Jesus. Whoever we follow and listen to all the time is our Lord. If we follow God’s will, as supported by His Word, then He is our Lord. If we follow the lies of the enemy, which supposedly makes life easier and pleasurable for us, then that is our lord.
It’s difficult. Saying no to the things that give us pleasure. That’s why the enemy takes delight every time we commit sins. Because it’s so easy to be swayed, especially for those who don’t have faith in God. I wish I had known this years ago. But this is how He designed my life, and I’m just glad that I reached this stage.
Today, I pray, Father, that I am always alert in thoughts and in actions. I ask for Your guidance in everything that I think of and do. Let the sacrifice of fasting be one thing that I will do not because I want people to know that I am fasting, but because I want to get closer to You and seek You more. I pray, Father, that You give me strength when faced with the temptations of the enemy. Feed my mind with Your Word that will send the enemy away. Open my eyes to the truth and let my ears be deaf to the whispers of the enemy. Thank You for surrounding me with people that attest to Your grace. For they always remind me that You are with me when I am most weak and vulnerable. Father, I hope that everyone sees how amazing our lives would be if everyone started to walk with You. That despite the worldly “lords,” You are still assuring us that our decision to follow You is a choice that would lead us to salvation. I pray for the time when no one doubts Your presence and submits themselves to believing Your Word. I pray that You forgive me for all the inconsistencies, for letting myself create crossroads in my life when there should have been only one path that I should follow, which is Yours. I pray that like what You did with the walls of Jericho, You will overcome my stone heart with Your grace and let You be my one and only Lord.